A New Beginning
by MerlexAddict2017
Summary: A short story about what I think would have happened if Meredith never left town after Derek died. An overview of events that happened beginning a few weeks after Derek died, leading up to a few weeks after she had her third baby. Highlighting the friendship between Meredith and Alex.


**This is my first story. I really enjoy Meredith and Alex's friendship so I wanted to highlight that in this story. Hope you enjoy!**

It's been about ten months since Derek died. So much has changed in that short amount of time. After he died, me, Amelia and the two kids moved back into the old house. I just didn't have it in my heart to stay in the dream house without him. It just wasn't the same. Nothing was the same anymore.

About four weeks after Derek died the unthinkable happened. I found out I was pregnant. I remember the morning of the day he died like it was yesterday. We had talked about having another baby, but I never imagined it would happen, and I never imagined seeing another positive pregnancy test, especially after he was gone. When I saw the positive pregnancy test I think I sat in the bathroom alone for hours. I couldn't imagine this happening. This is what Derek wanted and now he was gone. I was filled with so much grief. At first, I wasn't even sure if I could do this, but I knew this is what Derek wanted and I had to do it for him.

I kept the pregnancy to myself for as long as I could. Unsurprisingly, Alex was the first one to figure it out. Since Derek died he has taken such good care of me and the kids, so it had to be easy for him to figure out that something was different about me. Right from the start Alex was there for me and has been my rock. He and Jo moved into their own house, but sometimes it seemed that he spent more time with me and the kids, and I know that Jo noticed.

Once the news of the pregnancy was officially out it became much easier to cope with. I wished all the time that Derek could be here. I talked to him all the time. I had so much help and support from everyone around me, but I often wished he was here just to feel the baby kick or help me with the kids and to rub my feet after a long day at work. The kids miss their dad just as much as I do. Zola asks about him often. They found joy in getting ready for their new sibling. They, along with Amelia, Maggie and Alex helped set up the nursery. After a dark few months, preparing for the baby made everyone so happy. I even began to feel joy.

I worked right up until the baby was born. Fearing if I stopped to take a break, I would remember all the pain that is in my life. About eight weeks before the baby was due I got a scare. I was in the OR operating on a car accident victim when I suddenly felt a pain. I knew the pain of contractions and I knew that I had just had one, but I also knew it was too early and I was caught off guard. I tried to ignore them as much as I could because I had a patient open on the table and a gallery full of people. I managed to stay there for another 40 minutes silently breathing though the pain hoping no one would look into my eyes and see the pain I was feeling when I was suddenly hit by the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. I had to stop myself from falling over. As I stopped and cradled my stomach with my hand I asked the nurse to page Bailey. From the corner of my eye I seen Alex get up from his seat in the gallery. He knew something was wrong and he came running. By the time he got to me I was sat on a chair in the OR trying to wrap my mind around what was happening.

"Talk to me Mer, what's wrong?"

It took me a minute before I was even able to speak to him because I wasn't even sure what was happening. He bent down to make sure he was eye level with me, so he could read my eyes.

"Mer, are you okay? What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

"I'm having contractions. I thought they were just Braxton hicks, but they aren't stopping and they're getting stronger."

Alex grabbed me by the hand and helped me up out of the chair.

"I'm taking you upstairs to OB to get checked out. You should not have been operating."

"I didn't think it was anything. I thought I was fine."

Alex shot me a look, and I knew to just let him take me upstairs.

Once I was upstairs the OB hooked me up to monitors to check on the baby and checked to make sure I wasn't dilating. Alex was with me the whole time and stayed with me until he got paged. He was going to ignore it, but he was paged to the ER, so I told him he had to go. He paged Amelia to come stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. The OB wanted me to stay overnight for observation just to make sure the contractions had stopped, but I pleaded with her to let me go home. I promised to take it easy and being a doctor myself and living with doctors I assured her I was in good hands. Reluctantly, she agreed and let me go. Alex had also agreed to spend the night at the house making sure I was ok. I let him, because I knew he was going to stay anyways, but I know he should have been with Jo that night.

Jo had had a particularly hard day that day too. The patient from the car accident that I had been operating on, Jo had been operating on the woman's child. The child died shortly after getting to the OR despite her best effort to save him. While Alex was taking me up to OB she had paged him, but he ignored her. Amelia told me later that she heard them fighting in an on call room saying that he always chooses me before her and that he's never there when she needs him. I love Alex, he is my best friend, and I'm so glad he's been there for me but he loves Jo and Jo loves him and he needs to start showing her that and being there for her.

Later that night once the kids were in bed and I was settled, Alex came in and lay down next to me. Before he even got a chance to say anything, I did.

"Alex listen, Jo loves you and you have to start being there for her. You know how it feels to have no one in your corner, and that's how she feels. You have to stop choosing me over her. I'm fine. Amelia and Maggie are here with me, but Jo has no one. You love her. Go be with her."

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew I was right. I know he had my best interests in mind, but I was fine and I wanted him to be happy and I know Jo makes him happy.

"Mer, I, I…"

"Alex, I'm fine. I want you and Jo to be happy. I know you'll be there for me whenever I need you, but right now Jo needs you more than I do."

Alex smiled, thanked me, and gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving. In the next couple weeks, I noticed things between him and Jo getting better. I was fine, the contractions had stopped and I noticed he was spending less time at the house, but I was glad he was happy.

The last few weeks of the pregnancy were uneventful. I had consistent Braxton hicks, but nothing that stopped me from working. Not long after the scare I went back to work. I worked few hours and no long surgeries. Not that I could even if I tried because everyone watched me like a hawk. Exactly the way Derek had when I was pregnant on Bailey. It was about four days before my due date when I began to feel contractions again. It was early in the morning and I had just gotten out of surgery when they started. I had felt Braxton hicks for weeks, but I knew when these started they were different, and I knew this was it. I paged Amelia and Maggie and the two of them went upstairs to OB with me. The contractions came on strong very quickly and the two of them took turns getting me ice chips and holding my hand. They kept asking me if I wanted them to page Alex. I did, but I knew he was in surgery, so I told them to wait until he got out. I didn't want him to rush and I didn't want him to worry.

The contractions were getting stronger and coming closer together. The doctor came in to check me. I was only 4 cm dilated. Then all of our pagers went off. I guess no one realized I was in labour. I took my pager out to see what was going on; a bus crash. Amelia took my pager and put to away on me. I told Amelia and Maggie to go on. Neither one of them wanted to leave, but I told them I still had a while and I would page them if anything happened. Reluctantly they went on and I was all alone. In that moment all I wanted was Derek. The pain kept coming and coming and it was becoming harder to bare, and I missed him so much. I wished he could have been there to hold me and tell me everything would be alright.

As quick as that everything changed. The contractions changed. I instantly knew this baby was coming fast. I tried to get out of bed to get my pager. I had made it to the side of the bed when I was overcome with pain. I couldn't move. I was stuck and alone and this baby was coming. I thought I was going to be delivering my baby alone, on the floor. The next thing I know Alex walks in.

"Oh my god, Mer…"

"Alexx…"

I whimpered his name as he ran to my side. He was calling for help and trying to help me get back up on the bed. He knew this baby was coming just as much as I did and he knew I couldn't move.

"What were you doing out of bed?"

"I was trying to get to my pager to page Amelia. Alex, please help me. The baby is coming; I can't move. Alex."

He could see the fear in my eyes. As he was still trying to help me up he noticed the baby was ready to come out. With that he put his arms around me and lifted me himself up into the bed. He ran over to grab some gloves. He was trying his best to stay calm for my sake, but I could see in his eyes he was scared. He spoke softly, but effectively.

"Mer, the baby is right here. You are so close. Just give me one little push for the head."

As he guided the baby's head out with one hand, he took the clean part of his other arm and wiped my face. I know he wanted so much just to hold my hand and it was so hard for him to be the doctor in the situation.

"Good Mer, the head is out. Let me suction the baby's mouth and then we'll have a baby. Just one more push."

All it took was two pushes and out came the most beautiful baby girl with the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. She looked so much like Derek and my heart was filled with so much joy, but so much sorrow at the same time.

Just after the baby was born in rushed the OB. She took over from Alex. He went and checked the baby out to make sure she was alright and gave her the all clear. He handed her to me, kissed me on the forehead and left to go find Amelia and Maggie.

I sat there and just fell in love with this new life. Saddened by the fact she would never get to know her amazing father, but grateful in the fact that when I looked at her, I could see him. He would have loved her so much. She would have completed him.

A short time later Alex came back into the room. Maggie and Amelia were both still in surgery and said they would both be up as soon as their surgery finished. Alex looked at me and smiled. I asked him if he wanted to hold the baby. His eyes beamed as I handed her to him.

"So, does she have a name?"

My eyes began to fill with tears as I told him.

"Alexandria Ellis Shephard. Alexandria after two of the most important people who have come into my life."

When I told him I could see the tears in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it. I could see him falling in love with this baby.

"Alex, thank you for what you did for me today. If you hadn't shown up when you did, I probably would have given birth alone on the floor."

"Mer, why didn't you page me? I only knew you were here because I came up for a consult."

"You were in surgery. Amelia was going to page you when you got out, but when I was here alone and I knew the baby was coming I tried to get up to get my pager. And then that's when you came in."

"Mer, I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, if you need me, you page me. I wanted to be here for you. I'm so glad I got here in time."

"Me too. I never thought I could do this without Derek, but looking at this baby, and seeing him in her, I know that I have to try."

Alex sat down on the bed next to me and handed me the baby. He took my hand and kissed it. He was trying so hard to do what Derek would have done if he was here. He knew I needed someone to tell me everything is going to be alright.

"I'm here for you Mer. Whatever you need I am here. Don't ever think that you have to go through anything alone. I will be here for you and those kids for as long as I live. Cristina didn't leave me to be your person for nothing. You got me, and Jo knows that you're important to me and going through a rough time. She understands that and she will be here for you too."

I leaned in and gave him a big hug, and thanked him again and told him how lucky the kids and I were to have him.

The past ten months have been crazy. I never imagined that in ten months we could go from losing life, to bringing new life into the world. After the baby was born, we settled in very easily. I never imagined having to do any of this without Derek, but I know he's looking down on us and making sure we have all the support we need. Alex, Amelia and Maggie have been such good help since the baby came. They make sure the kids have everything they need, and make sure I have everything I need and that I'm ok. I see all my family in the house and the kids running around and I know this is what Derek would have wanted. He would have loved having a house full of people. Even though he is gone, I still feel him with me. I do wish he would just walk through the door, tell me he's sorry for being gone so long, hug me and tell me everything is ok now. I live with his memories and seeing his face in our kids. If it wasn't for the kids, I never would have survived this. They are my reason to keep living, they are the reason I don't give up.


End file.
